4 Cakes, 1 Great Birthday and Loads of Butt Kicking

So guys today is my Birthday so first of all wish me " Happy Birthday"
Today lets talk about the last birthday celebration of my college life... and i can assure it was amongst the greatest ever.....

The look and the smiles people have been passing on to me since 2 days had already prepared me for the worst... My sweet little ass was in danger of getting battered and bruised out of shape and recognition. So i was counting minutes as the dreaded hour approached.. But i never expected to be confined under room arrest 1 hour before it for the fear of being kidnapped by another gang of butt-kickers.

First gang that caught hold me was the 5 member team of Frienchies.... Ashok, Aishwarya, Sunil, Eshan and Mayank... To the utter irritation and disappointment of the other rival gangs, they made me cut a wonderful chocolate cake in the confines of my room... " Happy Birthday GB" said the cake..... Its the nickname, like the one all 6 of us have.....

Then the gates were opened for the next lot of attackers.... My kingdom and dignity was at stake.... But out of nowhere i saw Sunil lifted up in the air and WHAAAACK!!! went his ass..... After 5-6 shots people realised I was the one to be kicked and in no time I was swept off my feet. Then the show finally began.... BOOM!! BANG!!! and my butt was kicked in every direction. Pranav, Rajeev, Mittal, Parag all took a shot at my sweet, little, soft butts..... They cried in pain and begged for mercy but it seemed everyone had been turned deaf.... Finally after a while the debris was put back on solid ground and i gathered the pieces together. Eshan had his share, Mayank had his and for the 1st time Ashok experienced the near death experience when u see God.
How could i miss this opportunity to get 2 more of my great friends share the fun with me... Vinay and Bhardwaj... Sorry guys, didnt find better people to share my joy with... Out came the 2nd cake "Happy Birthday Champu" but my butt was about to have another dose, from the great butt-kicker himself, Shantesh Jain.

I finally did manage to reach my cake.... But IMTians and eating cakes dont go hand in hand... so within minutes my hair, my face..even my back had tasted what a wonderful cake i had cut... they surely did appreciate the taste... But i did give it back by aiming cake bullets back at them... The war ended in around 10 minutes with me sustaining the most number of bullets as it was a one man army against the Butt- kicking army...

Somehow i dragged my body to the co-operative store where the 3rd army was waiting to shell out every ounce of energy i had left in me... The doors closed for the customers and opened my doors to hell.... Tubes of Colgate and Close-up become the machine guns which fired non stop.... my hair took the firing head on... but the enemy was clever he fired liquid guns with Slice and Chocolate drinks in it under which my hair succumbed and accepted defeat... The victorious duo of Surbhi and Priya were about to leave the last breath when a cannon ball struck from behind.... Juniors couldnt have been behind.... Hitansh and his cannon ball eggs.... One after the other every side of me was hit and the eggs burst with great intensity and the yolk and albumen spreading nuclear gases everywhere.... everyone in the vicinity died of stink radiation.....

My body was again taken for a ride, few more kicks on my now disfigured ass and down i was in the rain puddle outside the store but then i finally earned the honour of getting to the 3rd stage, my 3rd cake " Happy Birthday Sam". Here the fight for honour began again and soon the skies were filled with vanilla icing arrows again... Sumeet got hit on the shoulder, Anubha on her hair, Jay sir's spectacles were frosted with vanilla... Budhia too took a beating , Surbhi even after all her efforts had to manage a stain or two on her clothes... Richa the last survivor was attacked by the remaining who conspired against her.....

Then came the 4th round of the event... Priya's chocolate cake " Happy Birthday Bhai" it read.... By then the strength to fight for honour had given way and i took all the hits on my chest.... and finally after fighting for an hour and a half of fighting, i gave up and accepted defeat finally....

At present my ass is in the Intensive Care Unit fighting between life and death.... My hair is better but still traumatised.... My clothes are waiting in the mortuary for an honourable funeral.... And my mind is still getting over the shock.... Its so shocked that anyone walks up behind it, the hands automatically go on to the butt to save any other future damage....

Please pray that all of them survive to tell these stories to their future generations....

P.S. All the accused will be sentenced proportionately to the crime committed.... The case awaits trial in court.... Till then let them live with the honour of pushing a poor soul to the brink of death....

This is the battered butt signing off.... LOVE U ALL AND THANK YOU FOR THE WONDERFUL MEMORIES....