Miss u dad.....

As I walked home today, I again had the opportunity to sit at Place Wilson for around 10-15 min. There at the other end a father was teaching his son cycling. After sometime he himself got onto the cycle and had a ride, to the delight of his 7 yr old son. This morning I had gone swimming and a similar scene brewed there. A father was giving his son a ride on his back while the son waved as a victorious king riding his horse. This bond that I have witnessed in this lovely country is something that has touched my heart, the son n dad love.

This further touches me bcoz I missed all this. Having stayed away from dad since I was 4 was something that I always missed. Those arguments, those thrashings, those lovely moments, those encouraging statements, I missed them all. Never felt really bad about it since as far as my memory went I was always away from him. If I had been older maybe it would have surely affected me more. But yes there were times when I missed his presence, especially when I saw other kids enjoying with their family.

I still remember the first time I cried for this reason. The year was 1994. I was playing with 2 friends of mine, both brothers. Suddenly their mom called them as they had to go somewhere. The dad got the car out, all sat in and drove out of the gate, the sons waiving at me frantically from the back seat. The first time I shed a tear, I missed him.

Always would have loved to have those family outings, those family dinners, when a dad sits on the dinner table and asks, “So son how was your day”. Never mind since this experience of mine has made me what I am. I understand how important and how valuable parents are.

There have been times when I see my friends complain, “I don’t like my dad. All he does is interfere with my life and all he does is scold me.” And all I would say is “I would die for that 1 moment”. For all this while even though I stayed away from him, I never made that effort to strengthen our relationship, even on the phone.

I still took him for granted till that fateful 2 yrs back. The deadly phone call, “Dad had passed away”

And then it all dawned on me. Shit man, why didn’t I give him the importance that he deserved? Why didn’t I be a good son, even though I stayed away from him? WHY???

Dad it’s been 2 yrs since u have gone. I miss you and I wish I could get just one chance to prove that I am not a bad son after all. I still remember that dream a year ago. I was at my brother’s place. I saw Dad sitting at the other end of the room. All I did was fall into his lap and cry. I cried and cried all the while just asking for one chance and all that Dad said was, “Son it’s ok” and he was gone.

For quite some time I tried to decipher the meaning of this dream till I finally spoke to my best friend, Pooja. I narrated the whole incident to her and all she said was “Sampark, Dad has forgiven u. You have realised where u went wrong, thats enough for him. The only reason he came was to put u at peace.” I don’t know what she said was right or wrong but it was enough to put me out of my misery

I believe that Dad did come that day and I thank him wholeheartedly. Don’t know where you would be today but wherever u are I just wish you are happy. And I just hope that someday in your next life, you come across this blog of mine and read it. That’s highly improbable I know but that’s a son’s heart that speaks.

And Dad a promise to you today, “I will never let your down. Whatever expectations you had from me, I will fulfil all. I will make you proud.”

Miss you Dad.......